(This is a merging of the original two articles and an update that made up my look at the 2002 Fall TV Season (9/23/02, 10/28/02 and 3/21/03.) One, in September, came before most shows had aired. It was more a preview, sharing what I expected, good or bad, based on a show's premise and the people involved. The second, in October, offered reviews of those and the ones that started late. As I combine them and post this to the web in 2003, I'm adding some comments but not attempting to update them all. Many stand as reviews of the shows at that point. Hope you find some of this interesting or useful. Feel free to pass it along to anyone you think might be interested, as long as you include attribution or, better, point them to the site. The footnotes/endnotes are nothing fancy. (A bit of explanation about why it's either. As originally conceived, this article had footnotes, but when I converted it to HTML, they became endnotes in that version.) When you click an endnote number it takes you to that endnote at the bottom of the document; then to get back to your place, you can click the endnote number down there or hit Back in your browser.)

There are shows that matter, shows that are thought-provoking and shows that are just fun. The list of shows that matter — shows that affect our culture, our politics and our views — is short. The West Wing reaches millions of Americans every week with thoughtful and often challenging political views. The Daily Show is the primary news source for a large percentage of younger adult viewers. South Park has broached more controversial subjects with kids (or perhaps with everybody) than any other show in history. Boston Public provides the discussion points for America's high school kids every week. Buffy, which is more about the meaning of life and death than about vampire slaying, is one of the most thought-provoking ever.

Two big early failures came from this ilk. Joss Whedon's first non-Buffy-related series, a sci-fi Western called Firefly (Fridays on Fox), came with interviews and backgrounders about Whedon's intentions for the show. Unfortunately, this existentialist study of aggression, male leadership and right and wrong was rather incoherent and had some annoying elements. The show's quick cancellation was not undeserved by standard TV rules, though that in itself is the sad fact. Due to its being on Fox rather than WB or UPN, as Buffy and Angel are, it had as many viewers as those shows. It was only by the rules of profit that it was unsustainable — partly the fault of Fox execs to not give it more of a chance, and partly the fault of Whedon for making its cost-per-episode so high, thanks to unnecessary special effects.

The biggest crime of the season, though, is Fox's mistreatment of girlsclub. David E. Kelley (Ally McBeal, The Practice, Boston Public) offered a time-slot replacement for his Ally McBeal. Thought-provoking and fun, girlsclub starred a powerful cast led by the breathtaking Gretchen Mol, and Kelley eschewed Ally's fantasy sequences and other silliness to focus on simple, classic structures. Fox execs weren't interested in whether girlsclub was good, though, or even whether it might appeal to a decent-sized audience; they were concerned only with whether it could hold the big-spending teen girl audience as had Ally McBeal, and before that Melrose Place in the same time slot. girlsclub had a similar structure to Ally, but the leads — Gretchen Mol, Giancarlo Esposito and Chyler Leigh — were a lot less goofy and a lot better dramatically than Calista Flockhart. girlsclub inhabited some middle ground between Kelley's other law shows, the slapstick Ally and the deadly-serious Practice. The thing is, the show still had Kelley's quirky (adult) humor and promised to take on interesting and controversial topics. And the cast was remarkably good. I was looking forward to years of fun. Whether to blame Fox for idiotic shortsightedness, or Kelley for the cost-per-episode, I don't know. But it's our loss.

Just for fun, Fastlane, by Charlie's Angels and music video director McG and starring Tiffany (resinless) Thiesson mostly involves car chases, blowing things up, sexy aggressive women and some of the raciest sex scenes ever shown on TV. Birds of Prey hopes to fill the void left by the self-destruction of Dark Angel. It's about a trio of female superheroes, including a grown-up Batgirl and the daughter of Batman and Catwoman.

Finally, in September, I wrote: "can you possibly risk missing the train wreck by not watching the premiere on October 1 of Less Than Perfect (Tuesday ABC 9:30), a wacky sitcom starring Eric Roberts and Andy Dick?!" As you can see below, instead we got a treat. And it was part of a bigger shift. ABC sitcoms used to own Tuesday night. In the early 80s it was Happy Day, Laverne and Shirley and Three's Company, in the mid to late 80s, Who's The Boss, The Wonder Years, and Roseanne, in the early to mid 90s Full House, Home Improvement and Grace Under Fire and in the late 90s, Spin City and Dharma and Greg. But as Roseanne weakened, NBC, which had been showing dramas on Tuesday night brought in Cheers spin-off Frasier along with Wings, then later Mad About You, then Will and Grace. But with the demise of Mad About You, the move of Will and Grace to Thursday, and the decline of Frasier, the new NBC shows have been beyond bad. Perfect timing for ABC to reclaim its turf with three brilliant new shows, 8 Simple Rules, Life With Bonnie and Less Than Perfect (and inexplicably the continuation of All About Jim.) They even made Fox run for the hills moving That 70's Show to another night. It's all ABC's again.

Now here are the details in day order:

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Final tally Returning shows Footnotes

SUNDAY

Bram and Alice (CBS 8pm) — a half-hour sitcom about a 20-something girl living with her womanizing father in a NYC apartment. I would dismiss this show as the most formulaic of sitcoms if it weren't for a few things: 1) writer/producer Christopher Lloyd, brought us The Golden Girls, Wings and Frasier; 2) star Traylor Howard is one of the cutest and most appealing women alive (best known for Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place); 3) Alfred Molina playing her father — he's had an eclectic and uneven career, but his comedic timing as the town chief in Chocolat was perfect; 4) the weirdly dark premise that their reconnection as father and daughter begins with mistaken identity involving sexual energy is just too damn weird as a sitcom premise to not check out; 5) relatedly, TV Guide says neither lead character is likable and the show has an icky quality — which makes at least the pilot a must, either to see something fresh or horrifying. [I liked this show fine and thought it had promise, but shows with no likable stars almost never work. Also, the show was positioned in a deadly slot, after Sunday football. This means it never starts on time, so you can't tape it, and it is often so late that it runs into the 9pm shows on HBO and ABC.]

American Dreams (NBC 8) — this sickeningly sweet drama about a working-class Irish Catholic Philadelphia family in the early 60's centers around the daughter dancing on the new local TV show, American Bandstand. There will be lots of early 60's pop music with said show and shlocky nostalgia, all thanks to executive producer Dick Clark. I find nothing in the above description that isn't repulsive. If you like early 60's pop, think that things were simpler and better back then, think things are simpler and better in working-class Catholic families, miss JFK, or otherwise disagree with me, then perhaps you'll see some value in it.

Boomtown (NBC 10) — It's a bad sign when the press around a show is all about gimmickry. Boomtown's gimmick is to show the same brief event from lots of different viewpoints, with overlapping moments to give the sense that you are following different characters as they converge and part. TV Guide described it as a hypnotic Rashomon-like structure. Clever, but there's nothing new about showing more than one character's perspective of the same events. All that is unusual here is the amount of it. Besides the gimmick, Boomtown is just another detective show populated by relatively unlikable overly male characters (the first homophobic remark was 20 minutes into the first episode). It costars ex-New Kid Donnie Wahlberg and Hill Street Blues vet Mykelti Williamson The pilot had a tediously long car chase with characters we had no reason to care about. In fact, throughout, I found myself not caring about any of it. There is minimal development of the main characters; too much plot, because the conceit of showing the same event a dozen times leaves little time for anything else. Video tricks — reverse blood flow, blown out images, color tints — along with the central gimmick all serve to show how clever the creators are without doing anything to advance the show. Nor is this helped by the stereotyped lead Neal McDonough (Murder One, Band of Brothers) who is repulsively unlikable. In fact stereotypes abound. In episode one, a "good" black kid in the hood gets mixed up in things he shouldn't, and even though he didn't commit the crime, ends up dead anyway. Yawn.

One executive producer, Jon Avnet, has given us Risky Business, The Burning Bed, Fried Green Tomatoes and 40 other movies over the last two decades. (OK, OK, he also gave us The Mighty Ducks and George of the Jungle.) The other, Yost, wrote Speed, Broken Arrow, Hard Rain and Band of Brothers. The gimmick of this show, the multiple viewpoint thing, would be great as an episode in a series, just to mix things up, but it's not enough to build a series around. If you absolutely love detective dramas, then you'll probably enjoy Boomtown, but there are plenty of others of its ilk that are better and more entertaining. It was up against The Practice, which I gave up on last year with its degeneration into absurdity and some really annoying moral themes but, mid-season, ABC moved the Practice to Monday night and offered the revamped Dragnet as a better challenge.

MONDAY

CSI: Miami (CBS 10) — This show is like a 60s supergroup: it was built from a team of stars from other projects. Besides the cast, there's the production team of CSI — Hollywood mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer (American Gigolo, Flashdance, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, CSI), writer/producer Ann Donahue (Beverly Hills 90210, Murder One, CSI), writer/producer Carol Mendelsohn (Melrose Place, CSI) and writer/creator Anthony Zuiker (CSI). Often these supergroup combinations don't work. It's true that you can't plan the kind of creative brilliance that comes from a combination of creative forces like the one that brought us the original CSI. At least they were smart enough to not try to find a William Peterson clone for the lead. David Caruso is of course, not new to crime dramas. His impetuous departure from NYPD Blue and subsequent failure as a movie star is one of the great legends of TV history. I gotta say it: he is fabulous and will take this show in a different direction energy-wise. Add to that Emily Proctor, who's breakthrough performance on The West Wing as the conservative lawyer was unforgettable. (I'm very sorry this means that character is no more.) The best thing about this show is the pairing of Caruso and Proctor. They have great chemistry and interesting well-evolved characters. And I'm so happy to see Proctor in a starring role.

Now the problems. Khandi Alexander (ER) is weirdly off as the medical examiner; her shtick of affectionately asking the corpses questions as she's dissecting them is repulsive. I'm not kidding. I'm sure the writers think it's quirky and gives her character a gimmick. But I'm not the only one who hates it. Adam Rodriguez (Brooklyn South, Felicity, Roswell) and Rory Cochrane (who's character goes by ‘Speed') are just big swinging dicks trying to out-macho each other. They lack all the subtlety and complexity of Dourdan and Eads on CSI, and stand in even worse contrast with Close and Murciano on Without A Trace. Last year, I wrote of co-star Kim Delaney (also of NYPD Blue fame) "I was never a Delaney fan and didn't like her more recent Philly. I think she's disappointing here, but it might just be taste. I wish the show had more Proctor and less Delaney." Gossipers blame Delaney's departure from the series after a handful of episodes on Caruso's notorious ego, but I wonder if it wasn't obvious to the show's creators that her character wasn't working. All I know is that Delaney's absense is a plus to the show's energy and most importantly, her departure has thrust Proctor into a co-star role, which is a wonderful thing. I was on the fence about this show in October for two reasons. One is the list of negatives. The other was its positioning against Crossing Jordon, of which I was a big fan. Jordon is the other medical crime drama with a distinct dose of Catholic morality. The shows, which take place in Miami and Boston, are populated with many Catholic characters and sometimes focus on their religious moral concerns. But Jordon was loosing its focus last season and this year, it's nearly fallen apart. I still hate Alexander and the boys, but watch for Caruso and Proctor and am a regular viewer.

Girls Club (FOX 9) — David E. Kelley's style is not to take on big metaphysical issues directly, but to examine the absurdity of everyday life through the lens of offbeat characters. girlsclub focuses on what it's like as a professional woman: sexual harassment; glass ceilings; dealing with an old boys club world (note series title); boyfriends who don't understand (and with other flaws men often seem to have). It also focuses, as Kelley shows always do, on what it means to be a friend, and the value (read preciousness) of friends.¹ The structure of girls club provides three work-related story lines and three personal-life story lines to pick from in each episode.

One of Kelley's trademarks is interesting casting. It stars Gretchen Mol, who is beautiful, likable, talented and extremely charismatic, and Giancarlo Esposito, who's done solid work in dozens of indie films and TV crime shows, including a stint on Homicide. The big surprise is Chyler Leigh, who shone way beyond the material as the punk girl lead in the fun but flawed That 80's Show. (A male associate at the law form was Roger on that show.) The third girl, Kathleen Robertson (Claire Arnold in 90210), is also solid.²

While Kelley is staying away from fantasy sequences and the like, you can expect his other trademark — handling sensitive and controversial issues — usually sex- or gender-related — in an absurd comedy setting, with shocking moments of non-PCness couched in so much tolerance and diversity that you know he doesn't mean it, even when it seems indefensible. For this series it looks like we can expect him to push farther. The series proudly presents a network warning about content. The pilot included a case about a gynecologist who fainted during an exam and fell forward into their patient then came to while gasping for breath, discussion of which led to the phrase "vulva hickey". Elsewhere, borderline curses like "bitch" and "dick" abound.

This show holds a lot of promise. The casting is excellent, the leads are appealing, the subject matter is unlimited. The worst risk is Kelley. He ruined Ally last year because he lost interest. If he put everything into the pilot but runs out of steam, this show could go the same route. If he keeps focused, it could be as much fun as the first few years of Ally. This show is an unknown, but it's a good bet, and since it's preceded by Boston Public — which just keeps getting better and better — and since I, for one, HATE Raymond and the whole sickening CBS Monday night family comedy line-up, and can find nothing intriguing about the new Treat Williams family melodrama Everwood than I can about its lead-in 7^th Heaven, or its creator's other show Dawson's Creek, I'll be tuning in. [Of course, as I mentioned above, Fox killed the wonderful girlsclub in one of the greatest proofs yet that the network model is passé. (Even though Fox isn't even one of the original three!)]

Still Standing (CBS 9:30) Another show about working-class parents who still act like kids. There's a little promise to be found in the stars, The Full Monty's Mark Addy and ex-brat Packer Jami Gertz, who's recent comedic role on Ally as a repressed puritan was so great. But that fact that it's mired in the sludge-filled Monday night CBS line-up almost guaranteed it would also be stale mediocre fare. If you want a fresh, offbeat, and seriously funny show about working-class parents who still act like kids, watch Grounded For Life. [Which Fox promptly cancelled! But in a sign of the new times, Grounded was then picked up by the WB (with the great ad campaign: "Crazy? Crazy like a frog!") It's now on that network at 9:30 on Fridays.]

TUESDAY

Less Than Perfect (ABC 9:30) — Hands-down winner of the strangest combination of features of any new show this season. It's a half-hour sitcom starring Eric Roberts and Andy Dick. What?! OK, so this was a shocker. Eric Roberts IS creepy. Andy Dick IS over the top. But instead of a car wreck or an exceptionally weird show it is simply a very good sitcom. Roberts and Dick are just dressing. The star is Sara Rue (whose resume includes supporting roles in Phenom, Zoe, Duncan, Jack & Jane, and Popular, and a key role in the Will & Grace 1980s flashback episode as Grace's little sister.) The show, from the team that brought us the unexpectedly good Geena Davis Show, is basically a variation on Bridget Jones, with Rue as the overweight, awkward but sweet, strong-willed but vulnerable modern girl, who knows her own mind but can't help having a crush on her cad of a boss. She's supported by a great ensemble cast, especially the wonderful Andrea Parker (Miss Parker in The Pretender.)³ It's much more fun than it should be, which seems to be a pattern for its creators.

8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter (ABC 8) — This John Ritter vehicle, costarring Katey Sagal (the awesome mom in Married w/Children) has grown on me. Don't get me wrong; it IS formulaic crap — he's a freelance writer who works at home and his wife goes back to work, leaving him to parent the kids during the day — a son and two teenage daughters. One daughter is a shallow blonde slut; the other a moody brunette intellectual. The brunette teases the blonde for being dumb and slutty, but we all know she's jealous of her popularity and the ease with which things in life come to her.

Basically everything revolves around Ritter getting upset over the blonde daughter: her boyfriend isn't good enough for her; her boyfriend wants to have sex with her; her outfit is too sexy; she wants to stay out too late. More broadly, it's about his being anxious that his daughters are no longer his little girls and are becoming sexual beings. There are some funny lines but it's Ritter's and Sagal's brilliant comedic timing that makes the show. [When this show premiered it was up against That 70's Show, and was doing serious damage, so Fox moved That 70's Show. Ironically, that let me start watching 8 Simple Rules weekly, which is how it had the chance to grow on me.]

Life With Bonnie (ABC 9) Bonnie Hunt is a genius, but she's had trouble finding a hit. She's done some memorable small roles in films, but this is her fourth attempt as the star of a sitcom.⁴ Hunt said that she wanted to do something "different" this time. Apparently this different thing is a show about a talk-show host, where it covers her personal life, but part is the show-within-a-show they host, including real celebrity guests. Apparently she's never seen The Larry Sanders Show. But I'm nitpicking; it is very funny. And she may have been talking about something else. Much of the show-in-show and some of the is ad-libbed. And those parts can get out-of-control funny. Perfect playing the nervous show producer is TV comedy long-timer David Alan Grier (In Living Color and a hundred other things.) One gripe: Much of the comedic energy of the show centers around how Hunt is barely keeping control of things, always late, a mess, etc., but the bits about her being a neglectful parent aren't funny to me. This isn't moralizing. I just don't get it. Maybe its because I'm not a parent so I can't relate. I don't know. This show is up against the over-the-hill but still funny Frasier. This is a good rival. ⁵

In-Laws (NBC 8)

NBC's latest Tuesday 8pm half-hour sitcom attempt. A young married couple moves in with the wife's parents, and with conflicts between the husband and his father-in-law, hilarity ensues. It's a trite premise — another one built from a male lead's stand-up comedy skit. Plus, I don't get father-in-law Dennis Farina's appeal. Maybe he's just too male for my taste — the big, strong, lovable but inscrutable thing — sort of a second-rate Burt Reynolds. The mother-in-law is Jean Smart, whose run as Frasier's age-appropriate (former prom queen from his high school) girlfriend was very nice, and this show is a Kelsey Grammar production. The aforementioned object of Farina's abuse is stunningly uninteresting as the male lead. The one and only bright note is Bonnie Somerville as his wife. Her resume is short but includes the great two-year run on Friends as Ross's girlfriend Mona. It's not nearly enough to save this show from unwatchability. let's hope Somerville gets a better vehicle next year. (starts 9/24)

Hidden Hills (NBC 9:30)

I try; I really do. I know that sometimes a first episode is a little rough. It's hard to figure out how to set the stage and introduce a whole case of characters. And the actors haven't grown into their roles yet. I really do try. But every once in a while there is a show so annoying I can't even make it through one episode. This year, there was a clear winner in minutes-til-I-turned-it-off-to-keep-my-sanity: Hidden Hills made it to 1 minute, 40 seconds — I am not kidding! I have a Tivo so I saw the time right on the screen when I paused it. The entire package of lame subject matter, predictable and annoying writing, and clichéd acting, was all encapsulated within those first two minutes. At least they gave me early warning. The stunningly tired setup of the pilot was that couples stop having sex when they have kids. They trashed it further by opening with snide first-person narration. Case closed. End of series. I expected this show not to make it past three episodes, but NBC's already picked it up for the season. I'm stumped. [There are plenty of family life shows with crisp writing and acting: I mentioned Grounded for Life before; add the new Life With Bonnie, and even shows I hate but which I can objectively tell are better than this, and it is the truest sign of how much I hate this show that I'm saying to watch Raymond or King of Queens instead.]

WEDNESDAY

Fastlane (Fox 9)

This series is pure mindless fun. Lots of blowing stuff up. In the pilot, two cars flipped; Isaac Hayes did a cameo; women grabbed men by the crotch; sex scenes pushed the envelope, with partial butt shots (this year's network dare), and lots of suggestive positioning — man from behind, etc. —all infuriatingly fast-cut, a la director/creator McG's music video work. McG has one non-music-video credit, but it's a big one: the Charlie's Angels movie. That will give you a sense of the light-hearted high-action style. Lots of scenes have backing tracks, though the music is surprisingly mainstream. Executive producer, writer and co-creator John McNamara was behind another fun action show, Spy Game.

Peter Facinelli is perfect as the rogue cop who's out to do justice while looking good and talking smart-ass. Bill Bellamy is also great, though one minor complaint: I could do without some of the Richard Pryor retread humor — "Black people don't surf. You saw Jaws, right? Did you see any black people in the water? When was the last time you seen a brother — You ever seen Gary Coleman on a board?" And what about Tiffani (resinless) Thiessen? She started out kinda stiff but she's growing into the role. OK, I gotta be honest. I loved the trashy sci-fi series Cleopatra 2525 and thought Cleo was hot. If you're like me on this, you'll be interested to know that Jennifer Sky (and believe it or not that is her birth name) who played Cleo was the bad girl with a heart of gold in the Fastlane pilot. In week two, the bad guys were a trio of female burglars. The formula isn't exactly enlightened, but the female characters are sexy, strong, and miles from Playboy/Baywatch blandness. Go ahead, judge me. I can take it.

This show reminds me of the fabulous but unsuccessful Thieves. But nee-Amber is no Melissa George. When I wrote this last year, I complained: "Unfortunately, this show is also in possibly the toughest time slot of the week, up against The West Wing, Amazing Race and other strong contenders. My guess, even though I had a great time watching it, is I'll forget about it and maybe catch it in rerun season." Since then, Fox has moved it to Friday at 8pm, filling the Firefly slot.

Birds of Prey (WB 9)

Though Birds of Prey is created by the screenwriter of the Lara Croft: Tomb Raider movie (which was tons of fun), it's produced by the makers of Smallville, and unfortunately it feels more like that show. It does not rate with its leading genre-mates of the past, Xena or Dark Angel. Based loosely on a comic series about the grown-up Batgirl, Birds of Prey's main strength is a great cast of lead women. Batgirl is Dina Meyer (Prof. Lucinda Nicholson in 90210, the female lead in Johnny Pneumonic, and notably Kate Miller, great actress love interest for Joey's on Friends.)⁶ Ashley Scott (Asha, head of the resistance movement in Dark Angel, and Gigolo Jane in AI) plays Huntress, the daughter of Batman and Catwoman. And the main supervillian is Mia Sara, yes, Princess Lily from Legend (and female lead in Timecop.) All three: very strong female actresses in the genre. But none has the charisma, grrl-power fun, or sexual energy of Alba or Lucy Lawless. (Also, there's a teenage girl with some supernatural abilities, to give fans a character to relate through.)

Birds of Prey is clearly packaged to capitalize on the hole left by the premature cancellation of Dark Angel. In fact, the "borrowing" of features from that show is irritatingly transparent. Birds of Prey also has a paraplegic star who also uses the internet to provide research and backup also to a sexy martial-arts-and-superhero-enhanced lead, and every episode also ends with the principals on the roof of an unusual building looking out over the city at night while reflecting on the episode's events and moralizing. Oh, and did I mention one of the leads was on Dark Angel.⁷ All this begs the comparison, so I'll do it. I see little of what made Dark Angel great when it was. Asha, I mean Ashley, is good but she's no Jessica Alba. Alba's breathtaking sensuality is a force of nature and it carried Dark Angel after the writing lost all coherency. And Birds of Prey never varies from the moody, tinted superhero/Gotham vibe. The best superhero stories give us characters that are accessible and developed. If they never vary from the stylized visual stuff, they get tedious fast. Birds of Prey needs to move beyond clever quips, flashbacks, and action sequences and get into serious character development. But the most damning criticism perhaps, for a show like this, is that the action sequences are flat; they lack authentic energy. It's a difficult job to construct a superhero world that is also personal and entertaining. The first episodes of Xena and many other fantasy shows were rough. But my gut tells me the spark was already visible, and it's not here.

The Twilight Zone (UPN 9) No need to explain the premise, so just a few brief comments about the execution. I've never understood the appeal of Forrest Whitaker. Other than moodiness and line memorization, I haven't detected any acting ability. But little is called for here, and he's fine. His presence is almost unnoticed, which on the one hand is in unflattering contrast to Rod Serling, but on the other hand avoids comparison with the legend, and on the third hand is a plus to me since the less of him the better. Stories are a bit light, ending with the classic moral one-liners. As a vehicle for stars to do short fiction it, like the remade Outer Limits, does the job. But it lacks the weight of the original series.

MDs (ABC 10)

The director of Soapdish and the producer of Legally Blonde and Josie and the Pussycats give us a comedy about the evilness of the medical bureaucracy. The two goofy male leads promise "shenanigans" as original as that word suggests. The only possible reason to watch MDs is to listen to John Hannah's Scottish brogue for a good part of an hour every week. One of the most beautiful speaking voices to have graced this Earth, you will certainly remember it from his shattering reading in Four Weddings and a Funeral of Auden's eulogy, "Stop the clocks, cut off the telephone."⁸ I find nothing likable in co-lead William Fichtner. The biggest problem, though, is that all the secondary characters are pathetically overwritten. There's a doctor who goes by Skip, a cranky-but-goofy morgue attendant called Wise Guy, and a Latino who's called, if you can believe it, Que Paso. The plots are equally overdone. In episode 2, with the airport closed, our stars personally set out to get a transplant heart from California to Vegas within six hours. After their single-engine plane crashes, wackiness ensues, including, believe it or not, mixing up the icebox with the heart with one filled with sandwiches, leading to a surprise ending you can see coming for twenty minutes. (One funny nod to Four Weddings: Hannah gives a eulogy over the sandwiches, thinking they're the heart.) Pure junk. How do shows like this get greenlighted?

Presidio Med (CBS 10)

By setting Presidio Med in a medical center rather than a hospital, the China Beach/ER veteran producer/writer team can focus much more on character development, and they're doing an exceptional job. Also, the setting means a different type of medical issue — cancer, pregnancy, plastic surgery. Our favorite characters have flaws and sometimes do bad things. And our least favorite character, one of the male leads, is a thug of a man and "sports junkie" who gets in a fist fight the first time we meet him, but four episodes in I had developed a more nuanced opinion even of him — an exceptional feat of character development. The other distinguishing feature is the decidedly female focus.. It combines female drama powerhouses Dana Delaney (China Beach), Blythe Danner (a million things including, coincidentally, an episode of St. Elsewhere 20 years ago, and of MASH 30 years ago), Anna Deavere Smith (who's been awesome as the National Security Advisor on The West Wing), Sasha Alexander (Dawson's Creek, and the memorable TV Guide reporter who interviewed Joey on Friends), and Julianne Nicholson (the neo-Ally McBeal Jenny Shaw, who I would have liked if the whole show hadn't been imploding around her and if her taste in men hadn't been so repugnant). Add to them the notably handsome Oded Fehr (the dashing Ardeth Bay in the Mummy movies), and you've got what should be a killer show for women and men who like shows with a female sensibility. I was enjoying this well-written soap until the network rested it for a few months while they made more episodes. When it came back around after the holidays, I just couldn't get myself reengaged. Oh well.

THURSDAY

Family Affair (WB 8)

I watched this remake for a few weeks and adored it. TV Guide called it "ghastly" and "unfathomable" but then they said the original was a "show we would have just as soon forgotten" and I adored that too; it was a campy classic. The cast is more adequate than great, with the exception of the amazingly brilliant casting of Tim Curry as Mr. French. This show is just pure silly fun. Or maybe I just love Curry so much I'm blinded to everything else.

Do Over (WB 8:30)

Much has been made of fact that two shows, Do Over and ABC's That Was Then, have virtually identical plots: 30-something loser is somehow transported back into their teenage body in the 80's but with their adult awareness. Also sounds like a few movies, eh? I saw Do Over's premiere. As a way of showing the New Wave/yuppie era while giving the character a reason to have post-modern awareness of its stupidity, it kinda works. But I liked the blatantly unrealistic spoofiness of The 80s Show much better.

Push, Nevada (ABC 9)

Clear winner of the most hyped crappy show, and for that matter, the most crappy hyped show. Of course, there were plenty of hints. The first is that it's produced and co-created by Ben Affleck and Sean Bailey, the team that brought us Project Greenlight and (in Affleck's case) years of bad acting and (in Bailey's case) the irritating mock-noir film Best Laid Plans. The second is the creators' totally transparent effort to manufacture cult status for the show before it starts. The third is the contrived interactive component. (A viewer who solves the season-long mystery will win money.)

The result is an unlikable mess which feels less like a TV show, more like a million post-modern indie student films. It had pseudo-Twin Peaks soundtrack music and is laden with stupid opaque dialog like this between a sultry mysterious female and our lead guy: "What's your name?" "Excuse me." "Your name — Do you have one?" It's certainly unlike any other show on TV. Thank God. I skipped the second episode.⁹

Good Morning Miami (NBC Thu 9:30) - OK, it's the most tired plot setup in the business — behind the scenes at a regional TV show. In fact, there's nothing original about this show, but it is what it is, a cute lightweight romantic sitcom. In an office romance sitcom, everybody watching knows the eventual outcome, so there are only two things that matter: writing and acting. The show is from the creators of Boston Common and Will and Grace. That says a lot. For the writing, at least at first, they've tapped a Will and Grace alum, James Grissom, who's also written for Six Feet Under and Sex and the City. It's classic sitcom dialogue, crisp, fun, loaded with zingers and the occasional double entendre. But it works cause it's so well done. Part of the thanks for that goes to a good cast. Lead Mark Feuerstein was the veterinarian boyfriend in Caroline in the City. Love interest and relative newcomer Ashley Williams is perfect. Constance Zimmer, who plays the receptionist, is even more attractive. Half the comic relief is from Jere Burns. Anyone who watched the wonderful late-80s Judd Hirsch sitcom Dear John will never forget his character Kirk. More recently he starred opposite thirtysomething's Mel Harris in the tepid comedy-drama¹⁰ Something So Right. Much of the rest of the comedy comes from the legendary Suzanne Pleshette (The Bob Newhart Show and a million other things.) She takes the role of a gambling, drinking, promiscuous mother and makes it much funnier and more likable than it might have been. I do have one serious complaint that is keeping me from being enthusiastic about this romantic comedy, which I wish I could be since there are far too few of them on the air. It is this: I find the male lead too unlikable. Sure we're supposed to see him as a vessel for our flaws — how his nerdiness, his brashness, his low self esteem get in the way of his making something happen romantically. He's supposed to be everyman. I understand this. But in a romantic comedy, you also need to be rooting for the leads, and I don't want Dylan or Penny to end up with Jake. He's petty and shallow, kind of mean and very selfish, and they could do better. I think we're supposed to think he's got a good heart, but I don't see it. Still, I'm watching because there are so few good sitcoms, let alone romantic comedies, and the writing and several of the characters are great. I just hope he never gets the girl.

Without A Trace (CBS 10)

In October, I said "This is my personal favorite of the new shows." Now it's my favorite TV Show, by quite a margin. This is a masterful show. For this slot following CSI, after the lackluster performance of The Agency — a show about the CIA — last season, this year they tried a show about the FBI. (Insert appropriate snide remark about the imagination of network executives here.) Specifically, it's about the missing persons division. The structure, using the latest scientific investigative techniques to methodically track down a missing person, provides the same kind of entertainment that makes CSI so much fun. I said in the preview that LaPaglia as star was not a plus to me, but I take it back. He's dead perfect in this role. When he stares at a suspect while they're dissembling, it's a beautiful thing. His calm, methodical but quietly aggressive style is more reminiscent of early CSI's Grissom than is Caruso's Horatio Caine on CSI: Miami. Eric Close (star of two great failed sci-fi series, Dark Skies and Now and Again) and Poppy Montgomery (little sis on Relativity and star of last year's failed mid-season Kevin Williamson show, Glory Days) are great, as expected. More interesting is Marianne Jean-Baptiste, a British actress with no TV series background but some great indie movie credits, including London Kills Me, Secrets & Lies, and The Cell. She adds an interesting and appealing dimension. In October, I wrote: "The most promising sign? The third episode, written by show producer Jan Nash (writer/producer for Family Law, Caroline in the City and Ellen) and directed by Rachel Talalay was the best episode yet."¹¹ It's still getting better. CSI seems to have lost much of its steam this year. The character development — especially Grissom's — that made the show so fascinating seems to be taking a back seat to the audience appeal of more gore, more sexy plots, and more quipped one-liners that can be repeated at the office the next day — the TV equivalent of "Hasta la vista, baby." Maybe it's just that the show's creators have moved on and the new people are following the formula without the depth. But Without A Trace has all that energy, cleverness, depth AND entertainment value that CSI had in its first two seasons. Perhaps more. This is the best show on television.

FRIDAY

Firefly (FOX 8)

For me, this was hands-down the most anticipated show of the year. It's the first new series from Joss Whedon since Angel in 99, which was, of course, just a spin-off of Buffy. So this is Whedon's first non-Buffy-related series. And it's science fiction, of which there aren't enough good series. (Especially with the mediocrity of Enterprise.) There was also buzz that the pilot was rejected by Fox and heavily reworked. This is usually a very bad sign. But in this case, it looks like the network was the one that sucked. According to an article in yesterday's NY Times Magazine (http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/22/magazine/22WHEDON.html?8hpib=&pagewanted=all&position=top)¹², Fox rejected the pilot not because it was bad, but because it was slow-moving, two hours long and had too little singles action. (Whedon says it wasn't "Melrose Space" enough for them.) I highly recommend the article above to get a sense of where Whedon is coming from. After seeing the pilot, I wrote the following: "There are plenty of fun and intriguing touches. The sets, plots and characters are guaranteed to have far more depth and humor than a single viewing of one episode can reveal. It's an interesting cast, including Ron Glass (from Barney Miller and a hundred things since), Jewel Staite (stand-out acting in a bunch of crappy stuff), and Gina Torres (from the aforementioned Cleopatra 2525). The newcomers all held their own in the pilot and Nathan Fillion as the captain will take some time to appreciate, but did nothing wrong. The one cast member that stood out as truly BAD was, surprise, surprise, Adam Baldwin. (That's sarcastic in case you didn't realize it.)" I realized soon after that where I knew Nathan Fillion from: He was Sharon's jock boyfriend on the sitcom Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place. His resume has that, a long stint on One Life To Live and not much else. I think in retrospect one of the main problems with the show was his weakness.

Of course, as I mentioned in the intro to this whole thing, Fox cancelled Firefly without giving it enough of a chance. But I was predisposed to loving it and I had serious problems. In October, I went on to say: "I confess I am worried by the overused post-apocalyptic/Western hybrid setting. I'm more a fan of the more futuristic vein of DS9. And I'm troubled that this swashbuckler frontier type of series seems to be a trend in current science fiction on TV. (See Enterprise and Andromeda, a good series but in this vein.) I'm also troubled by the prominence in these types of series of macho leaders. Give me a Picard or Janeway any day. So I do still have some reservations about the series, but there's one overriding fact: It's from Joss Whedon. Whedon single-handedly re-formed the understanding of what could be done on TV with Buffy and its combination of fun genre plots, stunningly smart writing and deep philosophical subject matter. Buffy is one of a small group of shows in history that have sociological importance. In the article Whedon talks about the complexity he has in mind for Firefly's captain. From what I know about Whedon and his mission, he is going to take the sci-fi-Western genre places where no person has gone before. So I am going to put faith in him (ironically) and probably watch all season even if there are bumps along the way. I suggest you do the same. We can compare notes." I guess we'll never get that chance.

What I Like About You (WB 8)

Well, it's about time! The fabulous Amanda Bynes, star of Nick's All That and Figure It Out, and, for the last three years, her own vehicle The Amanda Show has finally crossed over into network TV. At 16, she's already got 7 years as a star performer under her belt, and she is absolutely solid in this family sitcom about two sisters living alone in a NYC apartment. She's also just a fun charismatic person on the screen. You just have fun when she's up there. Her older sister, who was happy to move away from home and make her own life and is at first none to pleased to find herself living with her little sister again, is played by none other than 90210's Jennie Garth. She does a remarkably good job with comedic timing. The series is from Wil Calhoun, who's had various parts in the creation of Friends, Caroline in the City, and Jesse, three of the best sitcoms of the 90s. This show has all the right components. It replaces Sabrina in the 8pm slot (which bumps to the 8:30 follow-on slot and remains good despite losing Caroline Rhea.) If you enjoy this kind of fun, light-weight sitcom — like Caroline or Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place — then you'll probably love it. I do.

John Doe (FOX 9)

Yet another tortured-soul-former-(fill in the blank — and in this case, it really is blank since he has amnesia)-now-private-investigator show. This is pure trash, but it's not unentertaining. Some shows, you just can't help wondering about the pitch meetings. The premise of John Doe is that a hunky guy wakes up naked on a remote island with a brand on his chest, total amnesia, and perfect recall of every fact known to man. This knowledge (and his inexplicable insistence on spouting this info at other people in a frenetic and unwelcome way) makes him a freak. While on his quest to learn his past, he also solves a crime a week. I bet at some point in the pitch meeting, someone said it was like The Pretender, and if you liked that show you might like John Doe. You might also feel like things are just a bit too familiar. Also, The Pretender was good.¹³ It's lead was likable and Andrea Parker was awesome (and is now even better in the sitcom Less Than Perfect; see Tuesday.) In contrast, unattractive but hunky lead Dominic Purcell's ridiculously intense overacting is downright irritating. Also, there's a constantly recurring scenario where Doe's factual knowledge gives him physical mastery over something without any practice. In the pilot, for example, he both drove a race car and flew a helicopter. I don't know if the series creators thought we would buy this, or if they just thought it was funny and necessary. I find it extremely annoying.

If we're talking credentials, this series should be better. It comes from another China Beach/ER alum, Mimi Leder, who directed The Peacemaker, Deep Impact and Pay It Forward. This shows in the crisp writing and clever-enough plots. Another plus: the role of skeptical police lieutenant is played too well by the engaging Jayne Brook (Abby Jacobs from Sports Night, Deputy Mayor Mitchell in The District, and Dr. Diane Grad in Chicago Hope.) Take your pick of the tortured-soul-former-something-now-private-investigator shows. It's a well-worn formula because it does have benefits. But there are better ones. In October I called John Doe "a guilty pleasure." Its negatives tipped the balance and I no longer watch.

Hack (CBS 9)

Hack is the classic formulation: tortured-soul-former-detective-now-private-investigator. I don't need to observe that lots of movie directors seem to be doing TV series lately. Here's another one. Spiderman director David Koepp (also screenwriter for Carlito's Way, Mission Impossible, and Snake Eyes) created this series about a fired cop who wants to help people and redeem himself by continuing to fight crime, despite now being a taxi driver. This tortured soul is played way too moodily by great film actor (and St. Elsewhere star) David Morse, partnered with great TV actor Andre Braugher (Homicide). It's surprisingly formulaic and overdone, with unforgivably overwrought writing. It's all the more painful to watch since Morse and Brauer deserve so much better.

Robbery Homicide Division (CBS 10)

This would be yet another movie director doing a TV crime drama, but in Michael Mann's case, it's coming full circle. The director of Ali, Heat and The Insider started his career in the early 70s writing for Police Story and Starsky and Hutch, then shocked the TV world in the 80s when he created Miami Vice. Accomplished film actor Tom Sizemore stars as an odd, moody and aggressive detective. In September I said: "Either Sizemore will give this show a unique spark, as did D'Onofrio with Law & Order: CI, or it will be just another cop show." It's just another cop show, and ironically, Mann's moody style is so ubiquitous and somewhat passé that the new show feels like it belongs in the 90s.

FINAL TALLY

Two scoring approaches, v1 = forgive the mistakes, +1 for good / v2 = punish for crap, +1 for good, -1 for bad:

CBS — +4 / +2 — two crime dramas, a medical drama, and a weird sitcom: Bram and Alice, CSI: Miami, Presidio Med, Without A Trace. Still Standing is a 0 for so-so. The minuses are for the stinkers that came from going overboard with crime: Hack and Robbery Homicide Division. (+2)

ABC — +3 / +1 — all plusses are for sitcoms, all on Tuesday night. Two stinkers (and they're particularly putrid — Push, Nevada and MDs.)

NBC — +1 / -3 — Good Morning Miami, is OK in the context of the slim sitcom pickings these days. Hidden Hills, The In-Laws, American Dreams and Boomtown are junk.

WB — +2 / +1 — One awesome show, What I Like About You, one with promise, Birds of Prey. 0 for the iffy Family Affair. And one stinker, Do Over.

UPN — 0 / -2 — two forgettable shows: Haunted and the Twilight Zone remake.

FOX — disqualified — I refuse to score Fox's accomplishments this year, because their behavior in canceling both girlsclub and Firefly shows such a complete lack of appreciation for craft, such a complete lack of understanding of the value of growing a show, and such a complete lack of respect for the audience that they should be run out of the business. Fastlane and John Doe are fun, but damn it, Fox needs to be taught a lesson. I know it's about money, not art, but Fox used to understand that you could make a successful show by taking more risks than the big three and by sticking with a show and letting its audience grow, or by giving it an obscure slot. Now they seem to be acting worse than anybody.

NOTES ABOUT TWO RETURNING SHOWS

Alias

Special note to Alias's creators for doing something rare and daring. They took a hit show that was still popular but which was getting tired ploy-wise and they revamped it, discarding half the premise and juggling everything else. The show is revitalized. Crossing Jordon and CSI could learn a lesson. Also, I have to say something about the Olin factor. In case you didn't know, good old Michael Steadman from thirtysomething, known in the real world as Ken Olin, is the creator/exec producer/sometime director of Alias. This isn't his first effort — he's been directing for a decade — but it is his first creator/producer gig. Now why am I bothering to mention this, other than the nerdy interesting-factoid-value? Well this year had two multi-episode guest stars. One is accomplished film actress Lena Olin, and I swear I can't for the life of me track down any familial connection between them, and one unsubstantiated source insists they aren't related. And the other is Patricia Wettig, thirtysomething's Nancy Westin — in thirtysomething she was the wife in the other couple; in the real world, she is Ken Olin's wife.

Just Shoot Me

One of the best sitcom ensemble casts has gotten better. Just Shoot Me was getting a little tired. There was some talk of canceling it. But along with moving to 8pm Tuesday, it's picked up Rena Sofer. A lot of people know her from the show Ed, but I never saw her in that, since she joined the cast in year two and I left the show after episode one. She's had some a few guest roles that are unforgettable. In the classic Seinfeld Muffin Tops episode, she was a NYC visitor's center employee who mistakes George for a tourist and he plays along to keep her around, boxing up his apartment so it looks like he just moved in; in Friends, at the end of last season, she was the cashier at the baby furniture store who picked up Ross while he was shopping for the baby with Rachel; and in Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, she was a dying hospital patient Berg sets up with Pete as the "perfect" rebound girlfriend. But if you're like me, you remember her best of all as Eve Burns, crazy wife of Dr. Peter Burns in the final two years of Melrose! They've also added Amy Farrington, the only good thing about The Michael Richards Show. (Remember that disaster?)

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¹ FYI, super-quick rundown of the previous Kelley shows in chronological order: L.A. Law, Picket Fences, Chicago Hope, The Practice, Ally McBeal, Snoops, Boston Public.

² The "girls" are supposed to be in their late 20s. Mol and Robertson are age-appropriate, but Leigh is 20 in real life.

³ This former professional ballet dancer, bartender and stunt driver is not Andrea Parker the electronic music star, but Andrea Parker the great actress. See also a mention of her in the John Doe review under Friday.

⁴ Previous three: Grand, The Building, The Bonnie Hunt Show.

⁵ OK, so a few episodes into Bonnie, the familiarity of the actor who plays her husband was really starting to bug me. So I finally got around to looking it up (no, I have no idea why it took me that long) and, lo and behold, it's A. C. Mallett from early 90's Guiding Light! The last time I was, ahem, self-employed, I became addicted to that soap. Somewhat pathetic I know, but in my defense, at that moment — as happens sometimes thanks to a particularly good casting director or producer — Guiding Light had some exceptional talent, including Melina Kanakaredes (NYPD Blue, then her own show Providence), Nia Long (Boyz N The Hood, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Soul Food, Judging Amy), and my crush at the time, Sherry Stringfield (NYPD Blue, then the lead in ER.)

⁶ Weird irrelevant fact: Batgirl Meyers starred in the horror movie Bats.

⁷ Another transparent theft — or is it an homage, when does one become the other? — is that Huntress is in therapy, in which she talks about her problems including the metaphysical issues, while never acknowledging what she does for a living, nor what her father did. Echoes of The Sopranos?

⁸ "Stop the clocks, cut off the telephone,
prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with a muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let the aeroplanes circle mourning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, me East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good." — W.H. Auden

⁹ Do what you will with the fact that New York Times' TV critic Caryn James taps Push, Nevada as the best, most innovative new show and has devoted two articles to singing its praises, calling it imaginative, clever, crisp and a dozen other adjectives. She also calls Project Greenlight innovative and considers it a recommendation for this show. Perhaps she's an indie film junkie and had so much fun with the references that she didn't mind the rest. Perhaps you're the same, in which case it's conceivable you'll like this. Perhaps not.

¹⁰ I know, I know, comedy-hyphen-drama is so cumbersome, but I refuse to use the term dramedy. It's icky. It sounds like PR-speak, not real language. Of course, that it's special case for a drama to have comedy in it is another matter to discuss.

¹¹ Talalay's TV directing credits include Ally McBeal, Crossing Jordon and Dead Zone, but her film production credits are a bit, um, interesting: Tank Girl, Nightmare on Elm Street 3, 4, and 6, Sid and Nancy, and the John Waters films Polyester, Hairspray, and Cry-Baby.

¹² As of 3/25/03, this link still works.

¹³ Though the new series by its creators, the Natasha Henstridge vehicle She Spies, is dreadful.

© 2004 Philip F. Rose