Recently, I saw Watching the Friedmans. Immediately after that, I put on The Mating Game, a "60s" romantic comedy (it was from 59 actually) with Tony Randall and Debbie Reynolds. To me, these movies and movie experiences side by side offer a perfect case for asking whether the point of life is to be happy and if so what choices one might make. Why the hell did I submit myself to the ugliness of Watching the Friedmans? I felt dirty and sad afterwards. Watching The Mating Game I was between amused and laughing out loud. Tell me, why would one choose the former over the latter? Life is hard enough, filled with enough ugliness. I don't need to add to it by looking inside the minds of sick people that the world would be better off without. Give me farce. Give me romantic comedies. Give me fantasies. Or if I am going to look at ugliness, study depravity, let there be some lesson to it other than that life sucks. It reminds me of my old American Beauty - Magnolia distinction. American Beauty says that underneath the seeming normalcy and attractive facade is depravity and evil. Magnolia says that underneath the apparent depravity and messiness is an innate desire to be normal and good. They both have truth in them, but I'd rather go through life seeing that potential for good in people than assuming there's unseen depravity. And to the extent we make our own reality, of course, that …

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My Myers Briggs Jung Test Results

Introverted (I) 59.46% Extroverted (E) 40.54% Intuitive (N) 55.26% Sensing (S) 44.74% Feeling (F) 52.78% Thinking (T) 47.22% Perceiving (P) 60% Judging (J) 40%

Your type is: INFP

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(Note: The first paragraph of this piece ran as a letter to the editor in the 6/30 issue of NYPress. Go to www.nypress.com/17/26/mail/TheMail.cfm and scroll down to "Moore vs. White, XII".)

Armond White's piece on Michael Moore's film Fahrenheit 9/11, in the June 23, 2004 issue of the New York Press, is a biased political screed, not an honest review of the film. I did not start out a fan of Moore's, but each of his films has been less sentimental, more cohesive and more fact-based. This film is almost there -- gimmicks are few and non-central, documentation is substantial. Moore was careful on this one, because he didn't want it to be attackable on these grounds. White doesn't care; his blanket swipes at Moore suggest someone who didn't watch the current film with anything like objectivity. Nor is there any objectivity in White's political points. Moore uses footage of President Bush at an elementary school after he knew a plane had hit the WTC, sitting for seven minutes in the photo op rather than leading any action. Moore suggests that without an advisor telling Bush what to do, he did nothing. White says the same footage shows "the most powerful man in the world suffering. He's miserably distracted." So we're supposed to feel sorry for Bush that he was uncomfortable while he sat there not sure whether he should abort the photo op to address this national crisis? White then takes a hilariously non sequiturial potshot, calling Moore's …

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Most computer books are crap. I speak from the experience of reading many and having a part in writing a few. For some reason this is especially true with HTML books. (I know, grammar police, I know, there are no gradations of "true". Leave me alone.) It seems like the authors are faced with the decision of whether to write a how to or an encyclopedia and they either write an encyclopedia, which is useless if you don't know what you don't know, or they just give up and write a hybrid of the two that is impossible to navigate and largely inane.

There are two glaring exceptions that I found immensely useful in the last redesign of this site, when I was doing all XHTML, without any content management software. (Wow, the stone age.) I highly recommend them both to anyone who is doing the same. Even if you do use a tool like movable type, you still want to know what the HTML code is doing and how to design a site, so I still recommend them.

The Visual Quickstart Guide HTML for the World Wide Web is so much better than any other first book on the subject that it's kind of amazing. If you walk through this book step by step you will …

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There's a difference between fighting the flow and choosing your path through it. Many people, when faced with the epiphany that much of the struggle and unhappiness in their life comes from fighting the flow, the Tao, the natural order, God's will, whatever they call it, respond by flipping 180 degrees and denying free will, believing this flow, this order is in control, and their job is simply to submit to it. This results inevitably in lots of magical thinking.

God's-willers -- whether in Christian Fundamentalism, AA, Taoism, or whatever -- take the frequent remarkable coincidences in their daily lives as proof that "things happen for a reason" and that God is determining these little events in our lives based on some pre-planned roadmap. But a much simpler explanation is synchronicity -- seemingly predetermined events are actually the result of lots of little factors we do affect. Call it karma, if you want.

You know the undeniable phenomenon that when you break up with a partner or when a loved one dies, all of a sudden the world is full of messages about lost love or mortality? Do you think God is altering the programming of radio stations to send you those messages personally? Of course not. It's a matter of what you focus on.

When The Way opens and an opportunity or solution presents itself right when you need it, both of these forces are at work. Without realizing it, you are putting out signals and actions …

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To wait by the telephone,
wondering if they had as good a time as you,
if they feel the way you do.

Or is it all a fantasy in your head?
Were they merely tolerating your time together,
trying to make the best of it?

Humoring you when you talked on too long
about subjects you thought interested them
because they asked a question?

And it's not like you're not empathetic.
You'd think you'd be able to tell,
But now it's all a blur.

You thought you were reading the signals right,
but now you can't remember a thing,
so you can't prove it to yourself.

So now you want one more signal,
one further bit of evidence
that they're interested.

Interested in continuing,
interested in going further,
before you take another step.

But what if they think they've been perfectly clear?
Think the ball is in your court?
And read your reticence as disinterest.

Or what if they're shy
or awkward
and just can't force themselves to send the signal?

Or what if they're waiting by their telephone,
wondering if you had as good a time as they,
if you feel the way they do?

Or is it all a fantasy in …

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William Asher was one of the directors on I Love Lucy; the character's name was Lucy Esmeralda MacGillicuddy Ricardo. Asher went on to produce/direct Bewitched, starring his wife, Elizabeth Montgomery, as Samantha. In Bewitched, the bumbling nanny's name is Esmeralda, played by Alice Ghostley.

Ghostley played Mrs. Murdock in the movie Grease (DVD/VHS). Eve Arden, who played Principal McGee in Grease, guest starred on Bewitched as Nurse Kelton in the episode where Tabitha is born. Arden also had a cameo on I Love Lucy in 1955.

Besides rehashes, spin-offs and specials related to Bewitched and its cast (inc. the series' Tabitha and The Paul Lynde Show), Asher also directed episodes of Gidgit, Alice and The Dukes of Hazzard. But despite the importance of Lucy and the lasting power of Bewitched, Asher's most significant project in the canon of pop culture was probably as director and co-writer of all the Frankie Avalon-Annette Funicello beach movies: Beach Party (1963), Muscle Beach Party (1964), Bikini Beach (1964), Beach Blanket Bingo (1965), How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965), and Fireball 500 (1966).

Annette Funicello's measurements were 36-22-36. Asher's son John married Jenny McCarthy, whose measurements were 38-24-34. Cultural ideal shift: two inches off the hips, two inches on the breasts. (McCarthy did eventually remove the implants.) McCarthy hosted a series called World's Best Beaches. McCarthy first came to fame as co-host of Singled Out, which was …

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I know you love me when you tell me so because the belief that someone would is so remote that I probably won't see the signals no matter how clear you think they are. I know you love me when you tell me so because even if I see the signals, I will find a way to doubt them. I know you love me when you tell me so because I'm too shy to ask and find out myself.

For ten years Faceboy's open stage (Burlesque he proudly labeled it) Has taught us to create and play Take that you snobby poet shits. Our Saint, the Reverend Jen has said that art is just a romp. Play more! Great artists are not more than kids. So art stars grew where once were whores. Ah yes, to Ludlow we have gone And Allen too in times anon To play and love: our sole canon. Our mission is as clear as day That we will never stop the play Cause yuppies want mocha latte. (c) 2004 Philip F. Rose